Ever since Hudson was born, feeding him has become an issue. In the hospital, I breastfed him the small amount of colostrum I was able to produce but he had issues with his tongue and even though he would latch on correctly he wouldn't know what to do with his tongue and he would constantly spit me out. After talking to a few nurses and lactation consultants, they advised to feed him what I could but then I would have to supplement him with formula via finger feeding through a syringe until his tongue got stronger and he knew what to do. No problem. It was supposed to be a temporary solution.
Once home, feedings started to become an easy 1 1/2-2 hour job. With me trying to recover and supposed to be feeding him every 3 hours, it became impossible. We had lactation consultants out to our home 4 times to help us learn how to cut down feeding times and also figure out what to do to get rid of the finger feeding method as it's not a permanent solution. His tongue was stronger and he wouldn't spit me out but I noticed that now after a feeding (on the breast) he wasn't satisfied and was still hungry, I wasn't producing enough milk. Even after pumping, there wasn't enough food to go around - my milk supply just hadn't come in yet.
In comes the infamous F word. Formula. Our baby is now a formula baby. I don't know why it feels like a dirty word but I really do feel like there's a lot of pressure for mothers to breastfeed and if you don't, some people think you are less of a mother.
I would have loved to been able to nourish my son, have that one special thing that's all ours, but it's just not meant to be. We had no choice. It was either that or let my baby starve. Even now, I've still been pumping to try to bottle feed my breastmilk and I'm lucky to get an ounce every 2 days at this point.
I'm glad that D can share in the fact that he can feed Hudson and that I'm not 'tied down' to him but it still frustrates me. Maybe it's the hormones.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Today my little boy isn't so little
This morning, as a sign of his ever rapidly growing body, his umbilical cord fell off. Yes I was glad it fell off, after 10 days you can't imagine the stink from it, but it was also sad because he's growing up so fast. I love his cute little belly button though.
Also today was Hudson's first doctor's appt where he weighed in at 7lbs 9 oz (he was back up to birth weight at 7 days) and he got a circumcision. Poor little guy. Although I'm not sure how much he actually felt with all the freezing and he slept through the entire procedure. He also seems to be doing fine pain wise tonight so maybe it wasn't so bad? We just have to make sure to use disposable diapers with lots of vaseline for the next week or so. One funny thing, when the doctor came back to check on him an hour later, he told us, no word of a lie, that our son was 'blessed with a long penis' so the surgery was easy. D and I burst out laughing the second he left the room. Hilarious! An ego boost for D I'm sure :)
Also today was Hudson's first doctor's appt where he weighed in at 7lbs 9 oz (he was back up to birth weight at 7 days) and he got a circumcision. Poor little guy. Although I'm not sure how much he actually felt with all the freezing and he slept through the entire procedure. He also seems to be doing fine pain wise tonight so maybe it wasn't so bad? We just have to make sure to use disposable diapers with lots of vaseline for the next week or so. One funny thing, when the doctor came back to check on him an hour later, he told us, no word of a lie, that our son was 'blessed with a long penis' so the surgery was easy. D and I burst out laughing the second he left the room. Hilarious! An ego boost for D I'm sure :)
Photo shoot
We had a photo shoot the other day (he was 8 days old) and the pictures turned out fabulous! These are just a few sneak peaks and I can't wait to see the rest!!
The first few days
Today Hudson is 10 days old, I feel like he's growing up so fast! He's filling out and even though he's not even 2 weeks yet I feel like my baby is growing up. If only I had a pause button. Sigh.
My mom stayed with us for the first 7 days and I don't know what we would have done without her. The first few days postpartum for me was not good. The pain I experienced was undescribeable and I seriously would have chosen to go through labor again if it meant the afterpain would have been lessened by even half. Because he wanted to come out at an angle and they couldn't turn him to face down, he ended up coming out face up. Add to the fact that he also needed a vacuum and I was very close to needing a c-section if the vacuum wasn't a fairly fast success. I ended up tearing and they cut me almost the entire length and to top it off I also had a nice sized bruise. Needless to say, sitting, climbing stairs, going to the bathroom, bending over, and even laying down was painful and hard. I also had some issues with my painkillers and once a few days past and my painkillers got sorted, I was much better.
Once we got a routine sorted, and my mom left, D has been going back to work for half days which works out good I think because then he can be home longer and won't miss out on as much. I know he wants to be home more than anything and we all wish that but it's just not possible. He's got another week or so of vacation days saved so he can at least stretch that out over the next couple weeks.
Sleep has been alright, I try and nap when Hudson is napping and I would be getting tons of sleep if I could fall asleep automatically but sometimes that just isn't the case. He's been awake for the last few nights from 12am-4am so hopefully one day he will get his days and nights turned right. D ends up doing the feedings when he gets home from work until 12am and then momma takes over. It seems to be working so far, we'll see when D is back to work full time though or one of us wants a little free time.
Other than that, the first 10 days have been a whirlwind! And I wouldn't change it for anything.
My mom stayed with us for the first 7 days and I don't know what we would have done without her. The first few days postpartum for me was not good. The pain I experienced was undescribeable and I seriously would have chosen to go through labor again if it meant the afterpain would have been lessened by even half. Because he wanted to come out at an angle and they couldn't turn him to face down, he ended up coming out face up. Add to the fact that he also needed a vacuum and I was very close to needing a c-section if the vacuum wasn't a fairly fast success. I ended up tearing and they cut me almost the entire length and to top it off I also had a nice sized bruise. Needless to say, sitting, climbing stairs, going to the bathroom, bending over, and even laying down was painful and hard. I also had some issues with my painkillers and once a few days past and my painkillers got sorted, I was much better.
Once we got a routine sorted, and my mom left, D has been going back to work for half days which works out good I think because then he can be home longer and won't miss out on as much. I know he wants to be home more than anything and we all wish that but it's just not possible. He's got another week or so of vacation days saved so he can at least stretch that out over the next couple weeks.
Sleep has been alright, I try and nap when Hudson is napping and I would be getting tons of sleep if I could fall asleep automatically but sometimes that just isn't the case. He's been awake for the last few nights from 12am-4am so hopefully one day he will get his days and nights turned right. D ends up doing the feedings when he gets home from work until 12am and then momma takes over. It seems to be working so far, we'll see when D is back to work full time though or one of us wants a little free time.
Other than that, the first 10 days have been a whirlwind! And I wouldn't change it for anything.
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